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Thursday, October 11, 2012

My Safe Place

Well I am only writing this post because my shop teacher was really inspired by a journal entry i wrote in my notebook for her. It was about my safe place.

My safe place isnt something physical. As you will learn over time I am all about emotion. I desire to be shown love and affection ALOT and it does kinda get annoying to my boyfriend because i am sometimes a little too needy. I dont have much of a relationship with my family and i dont have many friends so i have been pretty much alone most of my life. I never reeally knew how to interact with other people i guess you could say. So im still new with all this. its taking some time to adjust and trust. Anyway my safe place is a few things. When im with BOTH my son and my boyfriend i feel safe. Like without one or the other i get paranoid and scared. Especially when im without both. I go crazy and have fits. I get upset too. I feel like i need them both in my presence in order for me to feel and be complete.
When im without my boyfriend and just with my son i can cope better when i have something of my boyfriends with me. Call me what you want but i like having something that smells like my boyfriend preferably. Trust me i know its really weird but i cant help it. He lets me use his jacket in school and it makes me feel safe.  Sometimes i feel like an addict. I need the emotion and i need the presence of them both. I honestly dont know how to control it though so it does kinda affect my few relationships with people that I have. I get moody and push people away even though i dont want too. But thats a different story for anotherr blog post. Im done for now but i will post again later.

xoxo

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